Saturday, November 7, 2009
Lately I have been feeling really down and out. For the past couple of weeks I really haven't been able to put a finger on why I have been feeling this way and I still can't. Usually I try to mask my feelings by spending money. Well last night I went to the Casino and lost almost $500.00. Do I really care um not really. I had fun. I work so hard to save and I never really take anytime to do anything for myself. I got home at 7:00am and went to bed until 2:30pm. My roommate left to hangout with his friends and I am here at home. Well I am down I don't know what to do. I lit candles and listened to music. I have drank a half bottle of wine and probably will drink the rest. I am about to order a pizza and just stay in. I mean I live in a city with a mass number of guys but I still can't even seem to date anyone. I really don't know what is wrong with me besides the obvious. As I sat here drinking today I thought back to my last BF. I was never alone when I was with him. We spent time together daily. Do I miss him um I really don't know. I don't know if I miss the idea of being in a relationship or the idea of being with him. Well I guess I am going to order my pizza now and complete the rest of my wine.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
So this past weekend was one of the biggest weekends that the Atlanta Community can experience. However, my close friends and I decided that we would keep away from it all and we did.
One of my associates from Philadelphia came here this weekend and pleaded to see me the whole weekend. Well I explained to him that I had no desire to be at any of the events or venues because honestly I am just not into that scene like that. I mean sure it can be fun if you want to club etc but I think that I have looked beyond the people who come (some attractive and some not) and I am taking the situation for what it is. He was upset because he said dudes here are BS. I had to remind him that all people here aren’t BS. I mean honestly what kind of person would you expect to meet during a Pride event? This is where my mind thought to the 80/20 rule for Atlanta.
When you look at Atlanta from a far; if you are naïve you would think that you could move here and instantly have someone. Well that statement is both true and false. Sure you can have someone to sleep with but someone who is more than that, probably not. Atlanta has the largest Black population of homosexual males and yet the relationship ratio here is very small. Why is this? Well there are several different things that could attribute to this; but it all boils down to quantity vs. quality. We have as many people as your eye can see however; most of the people are not of quality.
Quality is defined differently by different people. It doesn’t have to be materialistic; however must of Atlanta sees it this way. What I think are some simple basic qualities are someone who is trying to progress themselves in society to be a better person. All too often the people here are so wrapped up into this lifestyle before they know it years have passed them by. They have no formal education, no career, and many of them have no real family support system. I am not here trying to judge anyone because we all have our faults and so do I, I am merely trying to point out some qualities of Atlanta that makes us have the quantity but we lack the quality.
In smaller cities there is a smaller quantity of people therefore it is less competitive and people have more time to focus on qualitative things in life. People find someone and they are happy with them. Every time you walk out the door you don’t see someone who is tantalizing to the eye and you think that you may have a chance of living a happier life with them rather than with who you are already with.
Well this wraps up the introduction to my thoughts however there is much more to come. I welcome all questions and comments.
Monday, August 31, 2009
So Friday was a very interesting day. When I was at work I decided that I would create my own get away for the weekend but stay here in the city. I booked a hotel room at the Hyatt Regency on Peachtree. I went home packed a bag for the night and headed to the hotel. It was a very nice room. I sat on the bed listed to my I-POD and enjoyed the view. Peace and quite finally. I didn’t have to hear anything other than my own heart beat. Sometimes you just need to spend some time alone to gather yourself and think about your life and how things are going. Well Jamison and Ava wanted to go to dinner, so Jamison came and picked me up from the hotel and we went to Chow Baby.
As we walked up we saw Fred with this peculiar guy and we spoke as we were seated. It was Jamison’s first time there so I was a little nervous. He can be quite pretentious at times. Well we waited in line for about 20 minutes before finally preparing our food. We sat back down and waited for the server to bring it to us. We ate out first plate and enjoyed the company of each other. This was what I have been missing for so long. Being able to live in the city and enjoy city life with those who are closet to me. Being out in the suburbs has been great for me for the last six months for many reasons but now it is time to move back.
As we left we were walking to the car and I noticed glass on the ground. Instantly I knew something was wrong. Jamison’s passenger back window has been busted out. Well Ava being the blonde that he is left his messenger bag with his Mac and camera and some other stuff. It was all gone. Jamison was upset I could tell. I tend to know how Jamison is. Most often he is very self centered about things in life so he was upset that his car window had been broken into. I mean I have had my place robbed so I was calm and cool. I tried to be there for both friends. I mean Ava had been most devastated because he just lost a Mac in which he does most of his work on and a camera. This would be way more than the $200 bucks to fix the window and Jamison didn’t think about that. I talked to Jamison about it and tried to get him to understand and he finally did. Sometimes I just wish Jamison wouldn’t be so self centered. But we all have our own flaws and I have mine as well.
When I called the APD (Atlanta Police Department) I spent 5 minutes on hold. For heavens sake suppose it was a real emergency by the time they got to the phone I am sure I would have been dead by then. After the police arrived we left and went to the gas station to vacuum the glass from the car. I told Jamison that we would get the window fixed on Saturday. He dropped me back at my hotel and I relaxed to music and went to sleep.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
So it has been a while since I have made an entry into my blog. I guess I need to get myself together and be a bit more focused. School this semester has been relatively simple. My class was Statistics for Managers so either you know it or you don't. I have to take my final this week so keep your fingers crossed.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
So I just as the rest of the world watched the MJ Memorial on TV. My entire office stopped and congregated together to watch it for a hour on TV then we all went to our computers where CNN did a horrible job of streaming it to us. So on to the memories of the Memorial.
Monday, July 6, 2009
So Sunday was a member of the ATL 1st Family's Birthday. I am not apart of the family but I am a close friend of the family. Corey invited me over so I came. When I walked in everyone was there including Douglas and "the inquisitor". Everyone there was drinking and having a good time as usual and then small reads began to fly across the room. It isn't unusual to have a room full of punks to start reading one another. Usually since I am a friend of the family no one really reads me or at least while I am there anyway but this time was different.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
So Nikita and I went to the Beyonce concert. I must say that she gave a great show. I am not a fan of hers but her energy and excitement at the show was awesome. The best part of the show for me were her male dancers. Their bodies were amazing. That put a little more gusto into me wanting to get my body right.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
So lately I have been kinda down. I have gotten to the point to where I don't really like going to work anymore. I don't know what is really going on. I feel myself beginning to hate the city of Atlanta while other people are just dying to get here. I really don't understand why though? Is it because maybe ATL doesn't offer me what I need in my life. I guess being around a massive amount of black gay people who try to out do each other when in reality many of them are nothing but a cloud of smoke; a mirage if you will in front of all of their friends. I don't know what is going on. ATL used to be the place I would escape to when I wanted to get away from Columbus. But now it seems as if I have no place to go when I want to escape from ATL. I mean life here just seems boring to me. There is no real culture just a lot of want to be hollywood black people and a tremendous amount of gay people in which the vast majority aren't really doing anything with their lives. Sure they are in school but for how long? And will they even finish? I mean I don't get it many people I know claim to be so broke and drive around in old cars or no car at all and yet they go to the club 3 or 4 times a week. It is just mind boggling to me sometimes.
So last night Jamison, AJ, and I had planned on going bowling. We have talked about going bowling for the last couple of weeks but we had not been. We decided that we would skip the gym and go ahead and bowl. Well I received a phone call from KB that he was still in Atlanta and that he was at a Birthday gathering with some of his Morehouse Brothers. He also mentioned that he was sitting directly across from my ex boyfriend CW. Well being that both of them were there, this enticed me to go. I know that it was going to be wrong and some what messy, however I wanted to go and be a little malicious towards my ex.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
It has been about six months now since AJ, Jamison, and I have been going to LA Fitness. I must say that I have seen some major changes in myself. I have gone from a 34 waist to 32 waist my weight is now 172 and I am getting a nice tone. AJ has lost his belly and has began to shape up. Jamison, well Jamison doesn't really need as much of the same kinda work that AJ and I need. Jamison already has huge arms all he has to do is tone them up. I must say I am bit envious.